it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
