How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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