She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
