I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
