Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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