oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize