Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize