I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
