just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
