look no pants
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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