is your mom at the bar?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
