pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
