I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
