Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Randomize
