I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
