I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm getting married
To pizza
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize