are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Couch. On fire.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
