i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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