every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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