i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
