Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
