I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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