Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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