Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
