whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
