This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
