Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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