I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
