We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
