she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
