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• (713): View more from Texas

  we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.

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• (631): View more from New York

  dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.

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• (626): View more from California

  I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow

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• (806): View more from Texas

  You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER

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• (831): View more from California

  I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.

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