NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
