Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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