This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And the cops told us we were all naked.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
