Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
