There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
