I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
