I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize