I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
