Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
