you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
