I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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