She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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