im drinking this country out of the recession.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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