I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
