Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
