whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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