I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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