There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
