i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
