Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
