As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
