You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
