You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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