I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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