problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
