it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
