Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
