beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
